It's really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac. They always take things literally.
We hope that you are not a kleptomaniac and you will enjoy our tricky puns. For warming up there are 20 visual puns which are really very funny but at the same time are clear for everyone because the objects of these puns are names of famous celebrities.
For the rest 40 puns turn on your brains and imagination. Enjoy yourself and bear in mind: pun intended!
1. We prefer Tom Hardy being softy.
2. I was lonely, so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company.
3. I've heard Apple is designing a new car. They are having trouble installing Windows.
4. At the red carpet - Blake Lively, at home - Blake Dreary.
5. Yesterday I saw a keyboard with some missing keys. It ended up killing itself because it lacked self-Ctrl.
6. Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.
7. Tom Cruise is a really many-sided man.
8. If you ate Oreoes with milk in space, it would be the milky-way to eat them!
9. I always go the extra mile, which is why I was fired from Uber.
10. Most of time I'm Selena Stopmez.
11. What is the difference between a tea bag and Russia? A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
12. There was an explosion at a pie factory, 3.14 people died.
13. Morgan Freeman literally turned into Morgan Prisoner in movie The Shawshank Redemption.
14. Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
15. What do you call it when you get super glue on your finger? A sticky situation.
16. Kanye West, Kanye East has a daughter named North West.
17. If it's not related to elephants, it's irrelephant.
18. The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.
19. When Keira is better: Knightley or Daily?
20. They should make a Minecraft movie, it would be a blockbuster.
21. What do birds say on Halloween: twit or tweet?
22. Double 50 Cent makes up 1 dollar.
23. Is Google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.
24. So I've decided that my WiFi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.
25. Pregnant - Beyoncé, pregnant with twins - Beytwice.
26. My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said: "No, wait! I can change."
27. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
28. Clint Eastwood deserves more jokes about him.
29. Two fishermen go out fishing. They talk about the business they run. One fisherman asks the other: "What's our net worth?"
30. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
31. A hat naturally complements any look of Anne Hathaway.
32. Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty bastards.
33. To the guy who invented Zero. Thanks for nothing!
34. Gerard Butler had many roles: God, King of Sparta, security, scientist and detective. However, he has never played a butler!
35. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
36. A guy just threw milk at me... How dairy?!
37. Taylor Swift should remember that slow and steady wins the race.
38. Coach: There's no I in team.
Me: But there's an M and an E
39. I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I'm outstanding.
40. Robert is everywhere.
41. Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired.
42. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
43. Glenn was so close to the Oscar.
44. No more Harry Potter jokes guys, I'm Sirius.
45. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
46. It won't be a surprise, if Jeff Bridges doesn't like underground and tunnels.
47. The outcome of war does not prove who is right, but only who is left.
48. A little boy asked his father: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied: "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
49. Just curious: how many friends does William Dafoe have?
50. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
51. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
52. Gary Oldman wasn't old enough to play Winston Churchill, so makeup artists had a lot of work to prepare him for this role.
53. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.
54. Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
55. Which celebrity likes eating ice cream? Reese with her spoon!
56. I call myself a shark because I can swim and my grades are below C level.
57. So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!
58. Having three children, Jay Z is more like Jay ZZZZZZZZ.
59. Why don't couples go to the gym together? Because some relationships don't work out!
60. I used to be a banker but then I lost interest.